Habits, we all have them. We begin developing habits at about six months old, as we start learning to self-soothe. When it is time to sleep, we tend to get into a habit of repeating soothing behaviors that help us relax and sleep. Even now, you may have a carry-over behavior or routine based on that original habit, such as rubbing your pillowcase, wiggling your foot, or listening to white noise, as you drift off to sleep. These automatic routines can be comforting and soothing to you. In essence, this is your reward.
As you experience different events, situations, and emotions throughout your life, you learn “coping skills,” or habits, which help you get through the tough spots. It’s important to note that just as habits can be seen as good (healthy) or bad (unhealthy), coping skills can also be perceived as good or bad.
Occasionally, what starts as a healthy coping skill or habit can turn into an unhealthy habit. This can happen when your go-to solution is no longer appropriate in the situation and/or if it begins to affect you in a negative way. You may not notice the scope of the negative effects because the habit has become an autopilot part of your life. However, friends and family can often see the changes more clearly and accurately.
If you have spent time around young children, you’re probably familiar with this scenario. Babies use pacifiers to cope and calm themselves. However, the baby’s pacifier only works for a while, until the child’s teeth start coming in. At that point, continued use of the pacifier can do more harm than good. That’s when a parent or caregiver helps the child break the old habit by replacing it with a healthy habit/coping skill. As you can see, from the time you were a baby, you’ve been breaking bad habits and creating new, good habits to replace them.
While you’ve unknowingly been dealing with habits since just before you could crawl, that doesn’t mean you fully understand what habits are or how they work in your adult life. Yes, you grew up hearing about habits, especially when you were a kid and did something that embarrassed your parents, like wiping your nose on your shirt or ahem...similar things. Back then, someone helped you replace the bad habits with good ones. Ah, those were the days!
Now, you’re on your own. While you may have a supportive group of people to help keep you on track, it’s up to you to figure out the goals and strategies that are most likely to work best for you, in each particular situation.
Strategic Habit Insights
It would be wonderful if you could just stop doing a particular thing to get rid of a bad habit! However, it doesn’t work that way. You see, a bad habit is like a huge pothole in your road to success. The hole (bad habit) is the damaged area where something went wrong. If you’re traveling on that road, you won’t experience a smooth ride until the hole is filled. You can’t just take a hole (or bad habit) away; you have to fill the hole with the appropriate material (or good habit) to continue safely down the road.
Over the years, most people develop a few bad habits that need to be changed. In order to do this effectively, you need to know gain more knowledge and insight on the subject, such as the elements and types. However, you also need to develop the strategies and skills to replace the old, unhelpful habits with new, beneficial habits for long-term success.
Habit Elements
There are three core elements of every habit. They are the trigger, action, and the reward. The trigger tells your brain that it’s time to go on autopilot while you do tasks or a routine. If your brain benefits from the routine, it will continue to do the task.
The 4 Basic Habit Types
Let’s look at the four types of habits that you are likely to deal with in your personal or professional life. They include generic habits, good habits, bad habits, and addictions.
Procedural (Generic) Habits
You may not be familiar with what we call generic or procedural habits. These are usually the earliest actions you learn to take in a process, such as walking. After learning to walk, you build on those habits to reach the next level - running.
In this case, the procedural or generic habits are neither good nor bad. They just are. In fact, most people don’t remember learning these first habits. Some people have done things the same way since childhood but don’t know why. The humorous holiday story about “Grandma’s Cooking Secret (on Snopes)” has been going around for years but illustrates how generic habits often work in real-life situations.
Good Habits
Good habits are defined as automatic behaviors that are beneficial to you in some way. Good habits help you to achieve positive results in your life.
Bad Habits
Bad habits are defined as automatic behaviors that are unhealthy or dangerous to you in some way. Bad habits are often based on a deep core belief. They can also be based on a negative emotion, idea, or experience.
Addiction
Addictions often begin as bad habits but there is a significant difference between a habit and an addiction. Habits can be either good or bad. Addictions are always bad or harmful to the person affected. People who are addicted to something don’t usually see the differences in themselves.
Common signs of addiction may include the following, among others:
1. Intense cravings
2. Physical dependence
3. Withdrawal symptoms
4. Participating in risky behaviors
Personal Life
Breaking Bad Habits In Your Personal Life
1. Using tobacco /vaping can be a tough habit to break, because there is a physical addiction to the nicotine. Talk with your doctor about options that may include medication or other treatments to lessen the physical aspects.
2. To help break nicotine addiction, identify craving triggers (stress, anxiety, morning coffee, etc.) Distract yourself for 20 min. with mind-body activities as cravings have been shown to decrease significantly after 20 min.
3. Do you tend to buy something to make you feel better? Emotional spending is a common habit when you feel inadequate or have low self-esteem. Substitute this spending habit with self-care and confidence boosting strategies like dressing up when you don’t have to or sharing your wisdom or know-how with others.
4. Mindlessly eating is another common bad habit and in, in severe, cases can even become an addiction. Avoid eating in front of the TV or computer as we tend to eat faster and consume more when doing this. Eat with a friend or even a pet, instead. Talking during mealtime reduces how much you eat and you’re more conscious of what you eat.
5. Negative self-talk is a bad habit that often develops during childhood or due to negative childhood experiences. To replace negative self-talk and mindsets, stand up for yourself to yourself. Challenge the negative/unrealistic aspects and change it. If your self-talk said, “You’re just dumb,” challenge it by saying, “I’m not dumb! I’m smart and just made a mistake. Those are acceptable and so am I.”
6. Breaking the habit of staying up late might be easier than you think; but, it depends on why you’re staying up. If you’re staying up late because you’re playing an online game while you wait for the kids to go to sleep, substitute your game time with reading in bed. Online games tend to excite rather than relax you.
7. Breaking promises to yourself is disrespectful and perpetuates feelings and attitudes of low self-worth. To help you break this habit, get a friend or family member involved in the activity or event. They will help hold you accountable and you’re less likely to break a promise to someone else.
8. Distracted driving habits can be tough, especially if you have kids in the car. Make strict rules for yourself and the kids. Never ever, allow backseat fusses or devices distract you. Plan how you’ll handle common issues. Set definite consequences for you and/or the kids, as needed.
9. If overreacting is a habit you’re trying to break, gain control of your emotions by deep breathing, removing yourself from the situation, or in your mind repeat a calming mantra, phrase, or hum a slow tune.
10. Neglecting self-care is part of a vicious cycle. When you feel down do things that make you happier such as, wearing flattering clothes, adjusting your posture, taking a walk, spending time with positive people, take a mini-trip or working on hobby.
11. Saying “yes” to others too often a pleaser’s habit. Say “no” to please yourself at least half of the time. Identify things you said “yes” to in the past, but should have said “no” to. Craft phrases (not excuses) you can use to say “no,” politely and graciously.
12. Do you have a habit of making emotional buys? Identify the events that trigger this. Ask yourself if you just “like” it or really “need” it. Is the item a substitute for something else? Rather than buy something to make yourself feel better, create a list of self-care activities that make you feel better or reverse the negative feeling.
13. The habit of hyper-focusing and sitting for too long can be broken by planning and implementing an activity. After every hour of sitting get up and move around for 15-30 minutes. Set a silent alarm to remind you get up and check on something in a different area. Write down other natural cues, like mail-delivery or a bus going by, which could serve as reminders.
14. Breaking the habit of stereotyping yourself and others can be difficult since it is usually linked to a core belief and experiences. Assuming and jumping to conclusions are often major elements of stereotyping. Learn to recognize those thoughts and challenging them when they pop into your mind. Talk with a wide variety of people. Expand your knowledge and experiences. Avoid labeling and grouping people. Focus on each person as an individual, rather than a member of a “group.”
15. Habitually over-planning, without implementing the actions, can be due to fears. Look at your plan, note what tasks are worrying you or that you are afraid to attempt. Deal with the fear by planning how to accomplish each task despite your feelings.
16. The habit of making excuses for yourself and others shifts responsibility from the person to an event or condition. Fears and feelings of guilt or regret tend to fuel this behavior. Boost your confidence and self-esteem to accept and place responsibility where it belongs.
17. Denial is a common habit that can result in misidentifying an addiction. The truth is the truth whether you accept it or not. Accept yourself just as you are. Learn the signs of addiction. Ask friends if they see the signs in you. Break the denial habit. Seek specialized help for addictions.
18. Unrealistic expectations often contribute to disappointment and negative feelings of yourself and others. Expecting too much is a habit you can change by gauging what is realistic and do-able. Aim for high standards and goals that are achievable.
19. Neglecting to clean up after yourself is a habit often associated with low-self esteem, stress, or poor organizing. To help break this habit, work towards being more mindful of your surroundings. No task is complete if you don’t clean up immediately. Add that step to your checklists or to-do lists.
20. The habit of overlooking others’ contributions or worth restricts your relationships and your life experiences. To break this bad habit, on a daily basis, acknowledge others’ contributions and efforts, as well as express your appreciation. During the day, write down how others helped you and made you feel good about yourself or a situation.
21. Habitually arriving late makes you look unreliable and irritates others . To make this habit a thing of the past, get up earlier. Use a checklist. Plan to be “there” 15-30 minutes ahead of time. Get ready the night before. Have someone set all of your clocks ahead including the ones on your phone, in your car, and your watch.
22. Being too critical can affect how you see yourself and others. Nothing is perfect; however, you can find something good or positive about everyone and every situation, with practice. Replace your critical (faultfinding) thoughts with realistic, positive thoughts. Look for the bad and you will find it. Choose to look for the good to break the bad habit.
23. Trying to change others ruins relationships. Break the habit by focusing on the person’s good points. Don’t compare the person to yourself. Accept the person as-is. Let go of your selfish, “if only...” ideals.
24. Arguing in public shows a lack of respect for yourself, the other person, and bystanders. It takes two to argue. Refuse to argue in public by remaining calm and listening with compassion. Make private time to be a sounding board for the other person. Set up ground-rules for disagreements (fighting fair) including when, where, and how.
25. Gossiping is a habit you need to break quickly. Before you share info about a person, ask yourself: is it factual, is it necessary, is it kind, or is it a confidence entrusted to you?
Creating New Habits In Your Personal Life
26. Start exercising regularly. This one habit can benefit your mind, body, mood, and spirit.
27. Eliminate junk food from your diet to make your body perform more efficiently.
28. Track your daily food & liquid intake to make sure your diet is well balanced.
29. Practice mindfulness to develop your focus on what’s most important.
30. Drink more water to hydrate your organs and move nutrients throughout your body.
31. Create a savings plan & weekly/monthly budget to address financial wants and needs.
32. Organize your home and personal life for better productivity.
33. Create and implement a plan to become a better friend.
34. Communicate more effectively to become a better partner.
35. Create and implement a plan to become a better parent.
36. Journal to keep things in perspective and work through personal issues.
37. Let go of the past, as well as past hurts, and embrace the present.
38. Spend more quality time with older family members.
39. Make time for daily, weekly, and monthly self-care activities.
40. Support causes important to you by volunteering regularly.
41. Challenge yourself to do something new weekly or monthly.
42. Inspire or encourage someone every day.
43. Develop self-discipline in new situations.
44. Set healthy boundaries for your personal life.
45. Manage stress and your response to it to maintain your health and cultivate a positive outlook on life.
46. Develop your determination to overcome setbacks and adversity.
47. Prioritize what’s important - values, people, situations, etc.
48. Make time to have fun, laugh, and relax.
49. Develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills to help you make good choices.
50. Engage frequently with positive, supportive people and limit contact with negative people.
Professional Life
Breaking Bad Habits In Your Professional Life
51. Procrastination and missing deadlines are habits that lead to loss of income. Avoid this loss by linking tasks to strict deadlines, set multiple reminders, as well as organise and prioritise tasks. .
52. Taking things too personally often involves getting defensive. When it comes to receiving feedback or constructive criticism related to your job, separate the “who” (you) from the “do" (the job) suggestions.
53. Complaining about work is a bad habit that only makes things more stressful and negative for yourself and others. Focus on the positives to help everyone feel better about themselves and the situations. Share funny antidotes about work with coworkers to help them gain a more positive perspective.
54. Reacting to people and situations before thinking things through can be a very bad habit, especially at work. These actions can lead to being fired. To change this habit and be more proactive, practice controlling your thoughts, feelings, actions, and your words.
55. Sharing too much information at work, especially personal info, opens the door for people to gossip about you and can damage your reputation. You never know which of your circles intersect and who knows whom. Keep your personal details on a need to know basis. To help you change this habit, limit personal conversations to 5 minutes, avoid mentioning names, dates, and feelings related to your personal life.
56. Poor communication habits create confusion and limit success. Assess and break these bad habits by checking grammar and spelling. Use simple, industry, or job related phrases. Ask for feedback or clarification. Avoid using sarcasm and passive-aggressive wording. Tailor your message for your audience. Ask someone in the audience to read, point out, or edit trouble spots. Always say what you mean and mean what you say.
57. Lack of compassion or empathy reduces productivity and is bad fro company morale. Take steps to connect with coworkers, customers, and others related to your business. Find common ground. Listen to the person and put yourself in their shoes to develop compassion among team members and even customers. Focus on the needs of others rather than on yourself.
58. Being unprepared in the workplace equates to being unreliable and unprofessional. Assess where you need help to break the habits that contribute to you being unprepared in your job or workplace. Begin with your work schedule and routines. Fine-tune a plan that incorporates everything you need to do at work. Create and follow a checklist to be prepared for daily tasks.
59. Being inflexible is a habit that must be broken to advance and succeed. Refusing to go above and beyond your job “description,” makes you appear to be unreliable, inconsiderate, and selfish. You didn’t get to this point on your own. Whether something is part of your official job or not, if someone needs assistance and you can help, do so. Using your special skills and talents to help coworkers and the business, will ultimate ly help you to advance to the next step. Look for ways to be instrumental and valuable to everyone around you.
60. Multi-tasking, at one time, was considered helpful; however, studies have now repeatedly shown that it is a productivity killer. Work on one task until it’s completed. Turn off your email if you are working on a task. Turn off or close everything you don’t need specifically for the task you’re working on.
61. Skipping breaks contributes to feeling sleepy, poor circulation and more. Get up, grab a snack or drink and move around until your break is over. Set an alarm or 5-minute reminder to notify you when your next break is coming up.
62. Overlooking small details can cause major problems. Before you submit a piece of work or a project, look over the entire piece as if you were seeing it for the first time. Use a detailed checklist to make sure you haven’t missed anything. This process can easily replace your old habit if you do this each time before you mark a project as being “completed.”
63. Perfectionism is unattainable and unrealistic. Rather than “perfecting” as you go, focus on finishing the “bare-bones” of the entire task or project on time. Modify as needed for functionality, comprehension, and consistency.
64. Ineffective work routines need to be modified or replaced when they are not providing acceptable results. Look at each part of your routine to find the culprits. Identify which elements need to be changed or replaced. Assess why they no longer work. Break the habit of sticking with a process because it’s familiar. Focus on results first and foremost.
65. Micro-managing habits are bad for both the manager and the employee. To break this habit, train and practice to allow yourself to trust employees. Delegate tasks to experienced employees. Provide all tools, instructions, information, and resources to complete the task. Focus on the result instead of the process. Allow people to make mistakes and learn lessons. Show your gratitude and mention specific associated actions. The more you make people feel trusted and appreciated, the better they will do at their job.
66. Neglecting to network with a variety of people in your field is a must-break habit. The larger your work related circle is, the easier it will be for you to succeed. Connect with people you already know on social media sites, business websites, and even through email. Also, join social groups that coworkers suggest regarding your field.
67. Saying “yes” too quickly to business related propositions can damage your reputation and business. Look into the details before you make a decision. Use your critical thinking skills to weigh your options. Let your “yes,” mean yes and your “no” mean no, so that you are perceived as being reliable, honest, and true to your word.
68. Avoiding or overlooking advancements limits your professional success. Break this habit by staying informed about your industry and trying new options. Subscribe to newsletters, follow industry leaders, attend workshops, or take training classes at work. Test out new software, methods, and strategies.
69. Being indecisive can stunt your professional growth and success. Develop a decision-making process including defining the desired outcome, finding the relevant facts, identifying options, weight the pros and cons and trusting your instincts. Don’t let fear hold you back. Choose the best option based the probability of success.
70. Break your habit of not speaking up by starting small. Share a short comment in a conversation. Ask a thoughtful question. Request clarification on a topic. Share an idea. Speak of a lesson you learned at work recently. Encourage others to share info.
71. Overscheduling tasks tends to cause stress. Break the habit by timing and prioritizing the tasks by importance. Only add items that must be completed that day. You can always work on “tomorrow’s” task if you have extra time left over.
72. Avoiding plan implementation can cause many problems. To break the habit of putting off implementing a plan, make the process easer by using step-by-step instructions and/or a detailed checklist. Test the implementation several times to make sure everything works correctly.
73. Sitting at your desk all day can take a toll on you. Break the habit by standing more often. Use specialized equipment when possible such as an under-desk bike, ball chair, adjustable desktop, etc. Also, take advantage of your breaks and lunch time to get in more walking and opportunities for movements with a wider range of motion.
74. Sending email after-hours negatively affects everyone involved. Use a scheduling feature to send email or messages only during work hours. Set work hours and don’t read work related messages after that time, unless prior arrangements have been made.
75. Dressing inappropriately can make your job more difficult and give people the wrong impression. Dress in a professional manner that is consistent with your job’s requirements. Check the dress code or ask someone if you’re not sure what is acceptable.
Creating New Habits In Your Professional Life
76. Set challenges for yourself to motivate you to advance in your job position.
77. Set boundaries for work related situations and create “what if” plans of action.
78. Request feedback to obtain a variety of viewpoints.
79. Learn new or advanced job skills to help you make good decisions and choices.
80. Develop skills and strategies to help you focus better.
81. Share your knowledge and tips with new coworkers to help them get acclimated.
82. Do more than the minimum work required to be noticed by management.
83. Connect on a professional level with your coworkers.
84. Become known as a problem-solver to your coworkers and others.
85. Proofread your written work before sending or submitting it.
86. Be honest and realistic with yourself and coworkers.
87. Show your appreciation when someone helps you.
88. Clean and organize your desk each day. Clutter is distracting so keep it off your desk.
89. Organize and file important papers and memos to make things easier to find.
90. Share tips and tricks with coworkers to boost team efficiency and productivity.
91. Listen intently when others are talking. Focus on understanding their perspective.
92. Look for opportunities to advance your career. Learn more about each opportunity.
93. Make friends with everyone. Regardless of their position, everyone can be supportive.
94. Develop creative thinking skills related to your job.
95. Track and record your professional accomplishments and progress.
96. Refrain from comparing yourself to others. Everyone is different so there is no comparison.
97. When you see a need, roll up your sleeves and pitch in to help everyone involved.
98. Pay attention to your body language, as well as that of others in the conversation.
99. Take responsibility for mistakes but don’t dwell on them. Concentrate on how to fix things.
100. Step outside of your comfort zone to accept your dream opportunity.
101. Continue to reach higher, regardless of your position. There’s always a “next level.”